Transformational Life Coaching with Clare Bennett https://www.clarebennett.scot/ Change Your Life From The Inside Out Sat, 11 Oct 2025 16:38:33 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 https://www.clarebennett.scot/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/cropped-Clare-Slides-Jan-2017-Clare-Slide_edited-2-1024x724-32x32.jpg Transformational Life Coaching with Clare Bennett https://www.clarebennett.scot/ 32 32 Professional with Personality https://www.clarebennett.scot/2025/10/11/professional-with-personality/ https://www.clarebennett.scot/2025/10/11/professional-with-personality/#respond Sat, 11 Oct 2025 15:13:40 +0000 https://www.clarebennett.scot/?p=724 I wrote these words a while ago at the back of my 2025 diary. I can’t remember exactly when. I didn’t even do it particularly consciously, it just happened.  Things have been evolving for some time now.  Back in 2016, there was no ‘Temple Divine’, my professional social media profiles were called ‘Clare Bennett’. I […]

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❤‍🔥

I wrote these words a while ago at the back of my 2025 diary. I can’t remember exactly when. I didn’t even do it particularly consciously, it just happened. 

✨

Things have been evolving for some time now. 

🌿

Back in 2016, there was no ‘Temple Divine’, my professional social media profiles were called ‘Clare Bennett’. I focused on coaching, and hosted sharing circles in Glasgow like Self Love Club and Authentic Connections. Whether in one-to-one sessions or in groups, my core intention was to create spaces where people could drop the mask and speak from the HEART. And I did the same 

💗

I hired physical spaces here and there, and some felt more like home than others.

Over the next 4 years, I gradually moved into more structured spiritual practices like REIKI, MEDITATION, and I started learning THERAPEUTIC MYTHIC TAROT. 

⚡

Then 2020 happened, and it became clear how important it was to have a physical space to root and ground into. That’s when TEMPLE DIVINE was born, a temple in the physical world, but also a connection with the non-physical, the DIVINE. 

✨

And gradually, over time (that I’m not sure I was even conscious of at the time), I felt a deeper RESPONSIBILITY when posting. There was a WEIGHTINESS, not only in looking after a physical space, but in giving voice to Temple Divine itself. It felt BIGGER than me. GRANDER. 

🌕

 It wasn’t just about me.

I focused on being the PROFESSIONAL voice of Temple Divine, because high standards and INTEGRITY are important to me. This felt like building strong FOUNDATIONS. 

🪷

But what about the PERSONALITY? 

💫

I’m very group-focused and community-minded and I take my responsibilities very seriously. But the work that I was doing back in 2016, that SELF-LOVE is the FOUNDATION for everything else. 

💖

Along the way, through prioritising the collective mission, I lost parts of myself.

I found myself always writing “WE” instead of “ME.” I felt like I was speaking on behalf of a whole community, not myself anymore. Somewhere in that, I silenced my own VOICE. Some of you know I even lost my PHYSICAL VOICE for a time. 

🕊

Things have changed now.

As I write this in 

 LIBRA SEASON, I’m reminded of BALANCE. Libra is about the scales, the relationship between TWO. Not ‘this’ or ‘that’ but BOTH. 

⚖

We need NIGHT and DAY.
HEAD and HEART.
LEFT and RIGHT (take that as you will).
The individual AND collective. Me AND We.

This is BALANCE.

Libra knows this. It seeks PEACE, it sees BOTH sides, it weighs things up. It knows that PARTNERSHIP is the truth, that BOTH are needed.

Another DUALITY shows up for me through GEMINI. My rising sign is Gemini, and my progressed Sun has moved into Gemini for the next 20-odd years. So yes, duality is a big theme in my life right now. BOTH. I want BOTH. I need BOTH. 

♊

My business needs to be PROFESSIONAL. But it also has PERSONALITY, and HEART, a great BIG HEART. 

❤

And I’m here for people with BIG HEARTS. Sensitive HEARTS. Courageous HEARTS. Strong HEARTS. 

💛

Professionalism is IMPORTANT. Honestly, it would be good to see more of it in the spiritual community. If people are paying for a service, they deserve QUALITY, and they should EXPECT it. This work deserves RESPECT, and it’s reasonable to charge for higher standards accordingly. 

🙏

But here’s the thing: I don’t want to sound like every other wellness offering out there, carefully avoiding anything that might not look ‘high-vibe’ ‘nice’ or ‘kind.’

Many people are scared of posting the truth and carefully curate posts.

Raw and Real are fine with me.

Especially in this world of AI-generated content, many spiritual wellness brands are starting to really look and sound the same. A little BLAND. 

😌

REMEMBER…

You CAN be DIRECT and still have a GOOD HEART.
You CAN call things out with LOVE and INTEGRITY.
You CAN be PROFESSIONAL and have PERSONALITY.

We cannot be 100% SPIRITUAL. We are HUMAN. And our HUMANNESS must be experienced. If not, it slips into the SHADOW, abandoned, and grows into something distorted. 

🌑

Things get real ugly there.

We are here to be ourselves FULLY.
ALL of us.
And you are welcome as yourself at TEMPLE DIVINE. 

✨

Thank you for reading this length of post. We all have shorter attention spans these days, and I appreciate you spending your time reading this far. 

💕

If something in this post SPOKE to you, or made you FEEL SOMETHING, leave a comment and let me know. 

💬

Let’s continue being REAL in this Authentic Revolution.

Yours with genuine HEART and SOUL,

Clare 

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Pain can be a gift – not all presents have pretty packaging 🎁 https://www.clarebennett.scot/2025/10/11/pain-can-be-a-gift-not-all-presents-have-pretty-packaging-%f0%9f%8e%81/ https://www.clarebennett.scot/2025/10/11/pain-can-be-a-gift-not-all-presents-have-pretty-packaging-%f0%9f%8e%81/#respond Sat, 11 Oct 2025 12:31:35 +0000 https://www.clarebennett.scot/?p=721 “Pain can be a gift – not all presents have pretty packaging.” 🎁 Clare Bennett Pain is a great teacher. When we feel it, our instinct is often to avoid it, to distract ourselves, to numb, to run. But pain is a signal. It’s telling us that something is out of alignment. It’s an invitation […]

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“Pain can be a gift – not all presents have pretty packaging.” 🎁 Clare Bennett

Pain is a great teacher.


When we feel it, our instinct is often to avoid it, to distract ourselves, to numb, to run.

But pain is a signal.

It’s telling us that something is out of alignment.

It’s an invitation to look within.

👉 Where are we NOT living our own values?
👉 Where are we pretending to be okay when we’re not?
👉 What uncomfortable truths are we avoiding?

When pain shows up, it’s rarely random.


It’s calling us back to ourselves.

We often talk about anxiety instead of what it really is – fear.


“Anxiety” feels more acceptable, more medical, less vulnerable.

But underneath it, there is a part of us that is simply… afraid.

People feel more comfortable saying ‘I have anxiety’ rather than ‘I feel scared’

In the UK, just over 1 in 10 people live with an anxiety disorder at any given time – that’s more than 8 million people.

A 2023 survey found that 1 in 5 adults felt anxious most or all of the time in the previous two weeks.

It’s the most common mental health condition, especially among younger adults, women, and those with lower incomes.

But let’s be honest – it’s likely far more common than the statistics suggest.
Those numbers only count people who’ve been diagnosed.

Pain – emotional or physical – isn’t our enemy.

It’s a messenger, pointing us back to what needs healing.

When we stop running from it and start listening, we begin to grow. 🌱

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How can I be more authentic? https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/how-can-i-be-more-authentic/ https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/how-can-i-be-more-authentic/#respond Wed, 20 Mar 2019 11:23:43 +0000 https://www.clarebennett.scot/?p=434 First, let’s look to one of the ‘experts’ to get a better idea of what authenticity actually is. Brene Brown says… “Authenticity is a daily practice. Choosing authenticity means: Cultivating the courage to be emotionally honest, to set boundaries and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable: exercising the COMPASSION that comes from knowing that we […]

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First, let’s look to one of the ‘experts’ to get a better idea of what authenticity actually is.

Brene Brown says…

“Authenticity is a daily practice. Choosing authenticity means:

Cultivating the courage to be emotionally honest, to set boundaries and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable: exercising the COMPASSION that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle and connected to each other through a loving and resilient human spirit; nurturing the CONNECTION and sense of belonging that can only happen when we let go of what we are supposed to be and embrace who we are.”

What are the benefits of authenticity?

I believe that expressing our authenticity is a necessity for a life of fulfilment and connection. Since expressing more of my own authenticity in the world, I have experienced an increase in my self-esteem and it has absolutely increased the quality of all my relationships.

How can I be more authentic?

Are you talking about the weather when you’d rather be talking about your passions? Are you nodding in agreement out of politeness? Are you telling people how you REALLY feel?

I think everyone is secretly craving more authenticity but perhaps we are unsure about how to go about it. Whatever your starting point you can always be more authentic, you can always reveal more of yourself, but perhaps you are feeling scared and overwhelmed at the thought of being seen by the world or feeling terrified at the thought of exposing your tender heart.

Here’s some tips to get you started:

1. Listen to yourself and speak from the heart. Listen to yourself more than you do anyone else, and I mean ANYONE. Talk about the stuff that actually matters to you. Talk about what excites you and what scares you. Express your full self (especially your ‘imperfections’).

2. Self-reflection and self-awareness are fundamental. Why not write about your experiences in a journal. Observe how you feel when you are talking to people? Ask yourself ‘did that feel natural and nourishing?’ or ‘did that feel forced and draining’. Take note of what are you learning about yourself and others? What progress are you making?

3. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Honour yourself and any difficult feelings that may arise. This is perfectly normal and it gets easier. I promise. Eventually.

4. Authenticity is a journey not a destination. Celebrate every small step forward to becoming more authentic. You won’t get it right first time, you’ll mess up, you’ll say the ‘wrong’ thing or you’ll say the right thing in the ‘wrong’ way, but ultimately you’ll learn and you will grow.

5. Community is important. Perhaps you are growing and those around you are not. I know how hard this can be, and I can offer support when things get tough. I created a space where you could reach out and realise you are not alone. Why not join our Authentic Connections Facebook Group, or if you live in Glasgow, Scotland why not join our meet up group. I also offer one to one coaching and please always feel like you can reach out.

6. Just try it out! Don’t wait until you feel ready, you probably never will. Just speak from the heart and shine your beautiful and imperfect light.

I am always here for you. You are not alone.

Yours authentically

Clare

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How can I develop a better relationship with myself? https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/how-can-i-develop-a-better-relationship-with-myself/ https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/how-can-i-develop-a-better-relationship-with-myself/#respond Wed, 20 Mar 2019 11:15:19 +0000 https://www.clarebennett.scot/?p=431 Today’s blogpost is inspired by one of the ‘Authentic Connections’ group members who recently asked me a similar question. It offered me an opportunity for reflection, and I wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings with you. When asked this question, I started to think about the process that I went through to […]

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Today’s blogpost is inspired by one of the ‘Authentic Connections’ group members who recently asked me a similar question. It offered me an opportunity for reflection, and I wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings with you.

When asked this question, I started to think about the process that I went through to build a nourishing and positive relationship with myself. I don’t claim to be perfect, and the great thing is that we can always deepen this relationship and we can always show ourselves more love. But in saying that, I have made massive shifts in this area, that have helped transform my life.

Like all solid connections, the relationship I have with myself has been built up over time, there have been what felt like ‘high’ and ‘low’ points, but these all formed key components of the journey, and I would like to share some personal reflections and helpful tips with you.

One crucial aspect of this journey, was simplifying my life and taking time to get to know myself. I cut back on time spent with others to increase the time I spent with myself. I stopped looking outside and started listening within. From this point I was able to question certain beliefs I held about myself and chip away at some of the social conditioning.

Being in a solid relationship with yourself means listening to yourself, knowing yourself, valuing yourself and loving yourself. The result of this for me, is that it means that I never feel alone because I am with myself. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy company, I do, very much so, but when I am on my own (through choice) I feel content and peaceful.

So how can we move towards this point?

Something I know from my own experience and working with others is that we are often our harshest critics! Why not take an audit of how you interact with yourself, you could monitor how you speak to yourself. Do you speak with words of kindness and love? Do you speak to yourself like you would a friend or an enemy?

I often say ‘be your own best friend’. Think about how you ‘get to know’ a new person in your life, maybe a potential friend or potential romantic interest. You are curious about them.. Maybe you ask them questions and take time to listen to their responses. This process makes us feel close and connected to that other person. Try going through this process with yourself! You could even take yourself on a date!

Taking time just for you is the perfect way to develop the relationship you have with self. A great way of getting to know yourself and connecting with yourself is journaling. Get curious! Ask yourself questions. How do I feel right now? What do I think? What do I enjoy doing? Who do I like? Who am I? Ask yourself anything you feel curious about, then write the response and let it flow. It may feel a bit weird to begin with, that’s OK, keep going. Whatever comes up treat it with curiosity rather than judgement.

Having a good relationship with yourself can also mean setting boundaries about how you let others treat you. It is important that we honour ourselves as much as we honour others. This includes not putting yourself at the bottom of the priority list e.g. not saying ‘yes’ all the time when you really want to say ‘no’.

Not sure how to say ‘no’? I can help you with that (send me a message)

As always I encourage you to use your innate critical thinking skills! Please never take everything I say as the ‘truth’. Read and then see which parts resonate most with you. My aim isn’t to give people answers, it’s to help people to empower themselves. I have a gift of being able to tease that out.

What do YOU think a good relationship with self looks and feels like?

Sending you love

Yours authentically

Clare x

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When it all gets a bit PMessy! https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/when-it-all-gets-a-bit-pmessy/ https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/when-it-all-gets-a-bit-pmessy/#respond Wed, 20 Mar 2019 11:06:57 +0000 https://www.clarebennett.scot/?p=427 Most of the time I’m pretty consistent at thinking positively, but then there’s that dreaded week before my period arrives. This week has been one of those weeks. I’ve been feeling exhausted and craving cuddles, chocolate and cozy pjs. I’ve been doing my best to push through as I had a variety of important commitments […]

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Most of the time I’m pretty consistent at thinking positively, but then there’s that dreaded week before my period arrives.

This week has been one of those weeks. I’ve been feeling exhausted and craving cuddles, chocolate and cozy pjs. I’ve been doing my best to push through as I had a variety of important commitments scheduled, but it has felt more challenging to see the positives surrounding me and everyone seems to be just a little bit more irritating than usual.

The most irritating person of all has been Helga! Who is Helga you may ask? Helga is the name of my ‘inner critic’. When things get PMessy you can guarantee that Helga will make an appearance. Helga tells me that I’m fat, Helga tells me that I’m ugly and Helga tells me that I’m not good enough. It feels like she’s not on my side.

I notice that one negative thought, can lead to another, and another. Like a set of dominoes that fall down one by one and my mood can become lower and lower. Now, Helga may seem tough but I know she’s just another part of me that needs attention, I make an effort to be more gentle with myself and I send her love. Taking time to look after myself and do nice things for myself helps but there is another tool I have developed that can silence the almighty Helga.

So what is this powerful tool?

ASKING EMPOWERING QUESTIONS.

Asking empowering questions interrupts that negative spiral, stopping those pesky dominoes in their tracks. When we ask ourselves a direct question this pushes the negative thoughts out and creates space.  Empowering questions change our mental focus, and therefore, can lift our mood.

Examples of questions that I find empowering are ‘what can I appreciate about this situation?’, ‘what can I learn from this?’, and ‘how can I love myself more right now?’. These questions work for me, but it’s important that you choose questions that help YOU to feel empowered.

Most of us struggle with negative thoughts to a greater or lesser extent, but most of us have also been taught that admitting this makes us ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’ and so we hide behind a mask that says ‘I’m good thanks’.

I used to hide behind a mask because I was scared to expose my ‘flaws’. But now I choose to share through speaking from the heart and I am calling for others to join me. Why not share in the comments below some of your common negative thought patterns? Or maybe you could share if you have a name for your inner critic? Or perhaps you could tell us how you manage your mood changes at that time of the month?

Speaking from the heart can help transform the way we communicate. When we express more of ourselves we can truly connect. We can support each other and feel less alone. In doing so, we create compassionate communities that fully acknowledge our own common humanity.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Sending you love

Yours authentically

Clare x

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My year of being fully authentic https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/my-year-of-being-fully-authentic/ https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/my-year-of-being-fully-authentic/#respond Wed, 20 Mar 2019 10:46:13 +0000 https://www.clarebennett.scot/?p=424 I have been reflecting on my journey. At the beginning of 2016 I set my intention for the year ahead. I decided that it would be my most authentic year yet. This process had already been underway for some time without me naming it as such, but 2016 was a year of transformation that would […]

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I have been reflecting on my journey. At the beginning of 2016 I set my intention for the year ahead. I decided that it would be my most authentic year yet. This process had already been underway for some time without me naming it as such, but 2016 was a year of transformation that would push me way outside of my comfort zone.

I was committed to this intention, and I worked hard! There were times that I found myself stumbling over my words, finding it almost impossible to express my authentic thoughts and emotions, but then there were other times I found myself being pleasantly surprised by the words I heard coming out of my mouth, and the warm feeling I had in my heart. I had challenging and transformative conversations that felt nourishing and expansive. There were times that I felt deeply connected to others yet there were many times when I felt completely alone.

During this time, I witnessed the impact that my authenticity had on those around me. Some people opened up more, and thanked me for inspiring them, but there were others that looked confused and distanced themselves from me. I worried what people were thinking about me. Was I going too deep? Was I scaring people away? Did people like the ‘real’ me? Did I like the real me?

I questioned many of the connections I had in my life, and took an audit of how I felt around people. As someone who has the gift of being an empath, I feel other people’s emotions which makes this process much more challenging. I tried to work out who actually cares about me, and who am I convenient to?

At first communication felt clumsy and awkward and I felt scared. I developed tools to challenge my negative self talk and often said to myself ‘follow your heart and trust the process’. I reached out to others on a similar path hoping that someone else would understand and I was able to start the process of making new friends.

At times, I found myself falling back into old habits and adopting my chameleon like abilities depending on who I was with. ‘Just be you’, I told myself, but I wasn’t quite sure who that was yet. I opened my heart up and showed my vulnerable self to some people, then felt too exposed and became overly defensive. I told myself ‘I don’t want to live in the shadows anymore, I CAN do this’.

Expressing my authentic self has, at times, felt completely overwhelming, yet at the same time it has been liberating. I feel fantastic. My confidence and self-esteem have radically improved as a direct result of this transformative practice. I have come to the conclusion that everything interesting happens outside of my comfort zone. Authenticity is a journey not a destination and I continue to practice. I do not claim to be perfect (and I would be hesitant to believe any ‘guru/expert’ that does), but I have significant experience, tools and insights from this practice and if something I have written resonates with you, please feel free to get in touch. You’re not alone. I can help you.

I write about my journey so openly because I think many other people feel the same, yet often we hide. When we expose our tender heart we run the risk of it being hurt and so sometimes it’s easier to pretend that we don’t ‘feel’. We stay in our comfort zones, we put up a mask, and we hide where others cannot see us. I have found the courage to expose my tenderness and I invite you to do the same.

I am passionate about creating spaces where we can talk openly without ridicule, shame or judgement. What I have experienced through my personal life and working with ‘Authentic Connections’ groups is that it is only once we truly open up, that we can truly connect.

If you feel like you can relate to this blog post, please feel free to connect in the comments section below or send me a message. Remember that exposing your more tender parts is an act of courage, you can do it, and I will support you with love.

Yours authentically,

Clare x

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Why I love sensitive men https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/why-i-love-sensitive-men/ https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/why-i-love-sensitive-men/#respond Wed, 20 Mar 2019 10:38:38 +0000 https://www.clarebennett.scot/?p=421 I felt inspired to start writing this blogpost on the birthday of a self-proclaimed ‘sensitive man’ who holds a special place in my life and in my heart. I started to think about the many sensitive men I have been blessed to connect with throughout my life. These men can be found in my family, […]

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I felt inspired to start writing this blogpost on the birthday of a self-proclaimed ‘sensitive man’ who holds a special place in my life and in my heart. I started to think about the many sensitive men I have been blessed to connect with throughout my life. These men can be found in my family, in my circle of friends and some of them have even been lovers. One male friend noticed the trend and even remarked ‘aye… Clare likes them a bit… a bit… a bit poofy’. Hardly PC, but this was over 15 years ago, and there is some truth in the essence of what he was attempting to communicate even if the phrasing could be construed as a tad offensive.

Sensitivity is something I both notice and appreciate in others, however this hasn’t always been the case. There were times I got it massively wrong, there were times I was dismissive of people’s feelings, there were times I took the piss and ridiculed others. And for that, I’m truly sorry.

But there was a reason for this, for you see, I did not have the capacity to appreciate the sensitivity in others because I did not appreciate my own sensitivity. In some ways I had disowned that part of myself. My sensitivity had brought me great pain and therefore I kept it locked away. Perhaps I resented those who had the audacity to express it. Now, I choose to live open heartedly, and although that means that my feelings are hurt more often, I feel more connected to my true nature and I also feel more free.

Recently the relationships I have with some of the men in my life have deepened and I have witnessed more of their sensitivity which got me thinking.

What is it that I adore about sensitive men?

There is great beauty within them, and my heart bursts open when I feel their compassion and their care. I can connect with them on an emotional level. I feel a closeness when they trust me enough to open up and express their feelings, or even to cry in front of me. In return they seem better equipped to support me whilst I am feeling emotional or at least are able to employ empathy more readily to me during these times.

I love the subtlety, that they can read between the lines and I don’t need to spell things out for them. I love when they notice the small changes in my mood and ask if I am OK. This makes me feel safer with them.

Perhaps I appreciate the more tender love they have to offer. Does sensitivity make them better lovers? In my experience, often it does, yes, but there’s something more than that.

I’ve realised what I love more than anything is the integration of all parts of themselves, some would call it their ‘feminine’ side. The fullness of their authentic self is expressed and they feel more ‘whole’ to me.

Through employing authentic communication I have discovered that all men are more sensitive under the surface once we get to know them and I have come to the conclusion that…

All men are more sensitive than society gives them permission to be.

We only need to look at the shockingly high male suicide rates to know that there is a problem with emotional repression. Things are changing, but not fast enough, so I asked myself how can I support men more?

Maybe I could create a safer environment for men to open up.

I have used my authentic voice to speak out in my own social circle, and on social media.

Through conversations I have challenged societal views by saying explicitly, ‘it’s OK for men to cry’, ’emotional repression is not healthy for anyone’ and ‘we should all talk more about our feelings’.

When men have trusted me enough to open up I have welcomed and praised their vulnerability and accepted them for who they are. I have tried to understand things from their perspective to show that I care. Something I noticed is that they often felt ‘wrong’ for the intense way that they felt the world. They had been shamed in some way for their sensitivity. Laughed at. Ridiculed. Society taught them that their sensitivity was ‘wrong’.

Sensitivity is the powerful ability to feel the world around you and within you.

Let’s start to frame sensitivity as a strength – IT FUCKING IS!

I feel lucky to have known so many beautiful sensitive men and I want to say THANK YOU, for you have touched my heart deeply.

I see you

I feel you

I love you

If you are blessed enough to have the sacred gift of sensitivity please keep shining your authentic light. The world needs to feel your warmth.

Yours authentically

Clare x

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What can I do about my mental health issues? https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/what-can-i-do-about-my-mental-health-issues/ https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/03/20/what-can-i-do-about-my-mental-health-issues/#respond Wed, 20 Mar 2019 09:55:27 +0000 https://www.clarebennett.scot/?p=418 Today is World Mental Health Awareness Day, and 1 in 3 people in Scotland experience mental health issues. I hear people talking about raising awareness and I think that this is important. I see many articles about managing symptoms and I think that this is important too. I read posts about challenging the stigma and […]

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Today is World Mental Health Awareness Day, and 1 in 3 people in Scotland experience mental health issues.

I hear people talking about raising awareness and I think that this is important.

I see many articles about managing symptoms and I think that this is important too.

I read posts about challenging the stigma and I definitely think that this is important.

However, what I long to hear more about is how people can fully recover from their mental health issues. So, today I am going share a little snippet of how I healed mine.

When I was 19 I found myself crying on my bathroom floor, for no obvious reason. From then on I experienced mild to moderate mental health issues for years before finally experiencing a mental health crisis in my 30s. I chose not to speak to my doctor about this because I knew in my heart that popping pills wasn’t the path I wanted to take.

There were times that my anxiety was so bad that I was too afraid to go to sleep.

There were times that my depression was so severe that I didn’t see the point in living.

I chose to stop thinking that anxiety and depression were things that I ‘had’, and started to view them as things that I was ‘experiencing’. Instead of saying ‘I am anxious’ I would say ‘right now I am feeling anxious’. BIG difference – this was a MASSIVE shift for me. I stopped repressing my emotions and started feeling them. All of them. It was messy.

I started to ask myself empowering questions like ‘how can I feel just a little bit better in this moment?’ or ‘how can I love myself more right now?’.

I took action, and I started to notice changes, I actually started to feel better, MUCH better.

I discovered that our mental health is linked to our emotional, physical and spiritual health. For me, it wasn’t just one thing that aided my recovery. It was the culmination of many practices. Some of the things I have done to take care of myself are…

  • Cleaning up my diet and lifestyle
  • Taking time to rest and taking gentle exercise
  • Meditating and breathing deeply
  • Reading nourishing words and writing in a journal
  • Feeling my emotions and talking about my feelings
  • Expressing my emotions no matter how inconvenient it may feel to me
  • Loving myself and surrounding myself with people who genuinely care about me
  • Being vulnerable and letting others get close to me
  • Forgiving others and forgiving myself
  • Counselling and coaching
  • Letting go of all that no longer serves me
  • Being less critical of myself and developing self-compassion
  • Honouring my needs and desires, and doing things that bring me joy
  • Dealing with emotional trauma and speaking from my heart
  • Getting to know myself and discovering my life purpose
  • Stopping playing the victim and taking full responsibility for my own life
  • Facing my fears, finding my courage and never giving up

That’s quite a list, right?

Has this been easy for me? No.

Has it been worth it? Yes.

This is not a one-size fits all approach. We must take responsibility for our own healing. We must go inwards to find out what works for ourselves. We must start to believe that recovery is possible.

However, it’s not quite as simple as that, for you see, the society that we live in is not healthy, and we are deeply connected to the society in which we live (whether we want to be or not). I see the suffering around me. I feel the pain of others. And it hurts.

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”

Jiddu Krishnamurti

I feel the injustice, I feel the inequality and I always have done. It’s not that I am immune to feeling this any longer, nor would I want to be, but now I am better equipped to care for myself, and hold space for others around me. I accept the things that are outwith my control and chose to take action where I can in that moment. And that is called wisdom.

When I stopped pointing fingers elsewhere, and stopped blaming others, I was able to take control back of my own life, and I call that self-empowerment.

I believe that some people are clinically depressed and that for some people medication prescribed by a doctor can be helpful, but I also believe that many of the mental health issues that people are experiencing are due to factors within their control. Just to be absolutely clear, I am in no way blaming people who are living with mental health issues, far from it. It is no-one’s ‘fault’. I have deep compassion for anyone experiencing mental health issues, and that’s why I want to share my perspective, and what tools and practices have helped me. I want to show people who are suffering that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

You CAN get better

There ARE brighter days ahead

DON’T give up

I can help you. If you are experiencing mental health issues and you REALLY want to feel better, contact me. If you are READY to make changes in your life, I can support you to do that through one to one sessions.

I am here to serve you.

So… why not get in touch. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours authentically,

Clare x

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LIVE YOUR EXTREMES https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/02/28/live-your-extremes/ https://www.clarebennett.scot/2019/02/28/live-your-extremes/#respond Thu, 28 Feb 2019 07:10:06 +0000 https://www.clarebennett.scot/?p=163 Some people have called me ‘extreme’, and I would agree with that assessment. But it’s not just me. We all have extremes within us. I believe that part of our life journey is to understand and honour these extreme parts of ourselves in order that we can lead an authentic and fulfilling life. Today, I […]

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Some people have called me ‘extreme’, and I would agree with that assessment.

But it’s not just me.

We all have extremes within us.

I believe that part of our life journey is to understand and honour these extreme parts of ourselves in order that we can lead an authentic and fulfilling life.

Today, I will introduce you to two of my own personal extremes in order to illustrate my point.

Firstly, meet Goody Two Shoes

  • Her core values are love, compassion and sensitivity.
  • She cares about others so deeply that she often puts others before herself.
  • She experiences the world so intensely that it often feels overwhelming.
  • Her primary concern is contributing to the good of humanity.  

Next, meet The Wild Woman

  • Her core values are adventure, freedom and courage.
  • She is rebellious, and loves going against the grain.
  • She does not like being told what to do.
  • Her primary concern is being herself in the world.

INTERNAL TUG OF WAR

In the past, these two extremes within me have felt like an internal tug-of-war, with both parts vying for attention to have their needs met.

In order to satisfy both parts, I would jump from one extreme to the other. In my early twenties I was a Girls’ Brigade officer (hello Goody Two Shoes) but straight after I had finished my volunteering shift,  I would quickly change, and then head out to the city centre for a 48 hour non-stop drinking and drug-taking adventure which The Wild Woman found extremely satisfying.

For a long time I struggled understanding these extremes within me, and it resulted in an identity crisis.

SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS

On this journey of self-discovery I researched different personality types and spent long hours carrying out questionnaires seeking clarity, but none of these ‘types’ fully felt like the right fit.

I learned that these types of analyses can be helpful, but they are only a starting point.

I realised that I am BOTH of these aspects, and so much more.

WORKING IN HARMONY

At first I thought that these extremes were at odds, but I have since learned that they can be mutually supportive and work in harmony.

Today as a Coach, Facilitator and Speaker my purpose is to create social change through speaking from the heart.

Social Visionary Goody Two Shoes cares for the world deeply and sees that more positive alternatives are possible. The Wild Woman within has the courage to share this vision and challenge social norms.

SELF-ACTUALISATION

Operating from the socially acceptable middle ground keeps us safe, but not fulfilled.

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for”

J. A. Shedd

When you truly honour all parts of yourself, as extreme as they may be, and meet ALL of your needs then you can fulfill your potential without limits.

WHAT ARE YOUR OWN PERSONAL EXTREMES?

Perhaps you identify with one or both of my extremes, or perhaps there are other extremes within you.

Perhaps you have already identified them, or perhaps you would like to do that now.

You may feel that there are parts of yourself that are longing to be expressed and have their needs met.

If you would like to feel extremely fulfilled, then I invite you to listen to your conscience, hear the call of the wild and LIVE YOUR EXTREMES.

I WOULD LOVE TO SUPPORT YOU

I would love to support you in this journey of self-discovery and self-actualisation through one to one tailored coaching.

I would love to support you with my intuitive and person-centred approach.

I would love to support you to create change in your life.

Contact me for a free discovery consultation today.

Much love to you

Clare x

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