I was committed to this intention, and I worked hard! There were times that I found myself stumbling over my words, finding it almost impossible to express my authentic thoughts and emotions, but then there were other times I found myself being pleasantly surprised by the words I heard coming out of my mouth, and the warm feeling I had in my heart. I had challenging and transformative conversations that felt nourishing and expansive. There were times that I felt deeply connected to others yet there were many times when I felt completely alone.

During this time, I witnessed the impact that my authenticity had on those around me. Some people opened up more, and thanked me for inspiring them, but there were others that looked confused and distanced themselves from me. I worried what people were thinking about me. Was I going too deep? Was I scaring people away? Did people like the ‘real’ me? Did I like the real me?

I questioned many of the connections I had in my life, and took an audit of how I felt around people. As someone who has the gift of being an empath, I feel other people’s emotions which makes this process much more challenging. I tried to work out who actually cares about me, and who am I convenient to?

At first communication felt clumsy and awkward and I felt scared. I developed tools to challenge my negative self talk and often said to myself ‘follow your heart and trust the process’. I reached out to others on a similar path hoping that someone else would understand and I was able to start the process of making new friends.

At times, I found myself falling back into old habits and adopting my chameleon like abilities depending on who I was with. ‘Just be you’, I told myself, but I wasn’t quite sure who that was yet. I opened my heart up and showed my vulnerable self to some people, then felt too exposed and became overly defensive. I told myself ‘I don’t want to live in the shadows anymore, I CAN do this’.

Expressing my authentic self has, at times, felt completely overwhelming, yet at the same time it has been liberating. I feel fantastic. My confidence and self-esteem have radically improved as a direct result of this transformative practice. I have come to the conclusion that everything interesting happens outside of my comfort zone. Authenticity is a journey not a destination and I continue to practice. I do not claim to be perfect (and I would be hesitant to believe any ‘guru/expert’ that does), but I have significant experience, tools and insights from this practice and if something I have written resonates with you, please feel free to get in touch. You’re not alone. I can help you.

I write about my journey so openly because I think many other people feel the same, yet often we hide. When we expose our tender heart we run the risk of it being hurt and so sometimes it’s easier to pretend that we don’t ‘feel’. We stay in our comfort zones, we put up a mask, and we hide where others cannot see us. I have found the courage to expose my tenderness and I invite you to do the same.

I am passionate about creating spaces where we can talk openly without ridicule, shame or judgement. What I have experienced through my personal life and working with ‘Authentic Connections’ groups is that it is only once we truly open up, that we can truly connect.

If you feel like you can relate to this blog post, please feel free to connect in the comments section below or send me a message. Remember that exposing your more tender parts is an act of courage, you can do it, and I will support you with love.

Yours authentically,

Clare x

The post My year of being fully authentic appeared first on Transformational Life Coaching with Clare Bennett.

I hear people talking about raising awareness and I think that this is important.

I see many articles about managing symptoms and I think that this is important too.

I read posts about challenging the stigma and I definitely think that this is important.

However, what I long to hear more about is how people can fully recover from their mental health issues. So, today I am going share a little snippet of how I healed mine.

When I was 19 I found myself crying on my bathroom floor, for no obvious reason. From then on I experienced mild to moderate mental health issues for years before finally experiencing a mental health crisis in my 30s. I chose not to speak to my doctor about this because I knew in my heart that popping pills wasn’t the path I wanted to take.

There were times that my anxiety was so bad that I was too afraid to go to sleep.

There were times that my depression was so severe that I didn’t see the point in living.

I chose to stop thinking that anxiety and depression were things that I ‘had’, and started to view them as things that I was ‘experiencing’. Instead of saying ‘I am anxious’ I would say ‘right now I am feeling anxious’. BIG difference – this was a MASSIVE shift for me. I stopped repressing my emotions and started feeling them. All of them. It was messy.

I started to ask myself empowering questions like ‘how can I feel just a little bit better in this moment?’ or ‘how can I love myself more right now?’.

I took action, and I started to notice changes, I actually started to feel better, MUCH better.

I discovered that our mental health is linked to our emotional, physical and spiritual health. For me, it wasn’t just one thing that aided my recovery. It was the culmination of many practices. Some of the things I have done to take care of myself are…

• Cleaning up my diet and lifestyle
• Taking time to rest and taking gentle exercise
• Meditating and breathing deeply
• Reading nourishing words and writing in a journal
• Feeling my emotions and talking about my feelings
• Expressing my emotions no matter how inconvenient it may feel to me
• Loving myself and surrounding myself with people who genuinely care about me
• Being vulnerable and letting others get close to me
• Forgiving others and forgiving myself
• Counselling and coaching
• Letting go of all that no longer serves me
• Being less critical of myself and developing self-compassion
• Honouring my needs and desires, and doing things that bring me joy
• Dealing with emotional trauma and speaking from my heart
• Getting to know myself and discovering my life purpose
• Stopping playing the victim and taking full responsibility for my own life
• Facing my fears, finding my courage and never giving up

That’s quite a list, right?

Has this been easy for me? No.

Has it been worth it? Yes.

This is not a one-size fits all approach. We must take responsibility for our own healing. We must go inwards to find out what works for ourselves. We must start to believe that recovery is possible.

However, it’s not quite as simple as that, for you see, the society that we live in is not healthy, and we are deeply connected to the society in which we live (whether we want to be or not). I see the suffering around me. I feel the pain of others. And it hurts.

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”

Jiddu Krishnamurti

I feel the injustice, I feel the inequality and I always have done. It’s not that I am immune to feeling this any longer, nor would I want to be, but now I am better equipped to care for myself, and hold space for others around me. I accept the things that are outwith my control and chose to take action where I can in that moment. And that is called wisdom.

When I stopped pointing fingers elsewhere, and stopped blaming others, I was able to take control back of my own life, and I call that self-empowerment.

I believe that some people are clinically depressed and that for some people medication prescribed by a doctor can be helpful, but I also believe that many of the mental health issues that people are experiencing are due to factors within their control. Just to be absolutely clear, I am in no way blaming people who are living with mental health issues, far from it. It is no-one’s ‘fault’. I have deep compassion for anyone experiencing mental health issues, and that’s why I want to share my perspective, and what tools and practices have helped me. I want to show people who are suffering that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

You CAN get better

There ARE brighter days ahead

DON’T give up

I can help you. If you are experiencing mental health issues and you REALLY want to feel better, contact me. If you are READY to make changes in your life, I can support you to do that through one to one sessions.

I am here to serve you.

So… why not get in touch. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours authentically,

Clare x

The post What can I do about my mental health issues? appeared first on Transformational Life Coaching with Clare Bennett.